‘If you can’t handle my pet, how can you handle my child?': Woman Warns Boyfriend’s Family She Won’t Let Them Near Her Future Kids Because of How They Treat Her Cat

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 23, 2024 8:00 AM EDT

You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. It shows their respect for boundaries, how kind they are, and how patient. This is the same reason why people say that getting a pet is a good test to see how you will handle having actual kids. And I firmly believe that applies not only for the parents but to everyone else in the family as well.

The family in this Reddit story showed their true colors when the older sibling and his girlfriend decided to adopt a cat. The mom completely disregarded the girlfriend's instructions whenever she was near the cat, and simply did whatever she pleased. This made the girlfriend feel like she couldn't trust her boyfriend's mom around their future kids, and she did not hesitate to say that to her boyfriend's entire family.

Scroll down to read the full story. After that, click here for a story of a mom who walked out of her kids and husband after they failed to do their chores.

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  • 01
    AITA for telling my Bfs family they won't be in our lives once we have children if they don't learn to behave now that we have a cat?
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 02
    My boyfriend "Sam" (27M) and I (25F) have entered a stage in our relationship where we think we'll soon want to start a family. One thing I worry about though is his family. Mum, dad, younger brother "Matt" and his girlfriend "Susan" (both 24).
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 03
    For some reason it feels like they are looking down on Sam. For example: If Matt takes out a small loan to renovate the flat, everyone is supportive, but when we do it, we are questioned about responibility
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 04
    (even though we are financially better off). I'd understand if Sam and I had a history of beeing irresponsible, but we are doing really well for ourselves and never had any issues. Sam says he is used to it and it
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 05
    doesn't bother him, but he understands my frustration and is always really supportive and sticks up for me if need be. Recently, we got a cat. She is a lovely, healthy ball of energy
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 06
    and we immediatly bonded with eachother. Matt and Susan also adopted a cat not long ago. Again, everyone was excited for them and we were hit with the "you know a pet is a responisbility, right?" but whatever, let them talk.
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 07
    Yesterday, we had invited his family. As soon as they entered, they started complaining. "Why is the scratching post here and not there?", "Why are you giving her this food brand?", "Why are you using this litter?". They
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 08
    brought some toys and also some cat food (which they say is 100 times better than the one we use) which I didn't mind, but Susan also brought a supplement paste.
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 09
    I thanked her, but told her to please take it with her again since I don't want to give my cat supplements which are not approved by her vet, who confirmed she is the picture of health last friday. At first she
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 10
    said okay, but when I came back from the toilet, I saw Susan giving our cat the paste. I snatched the paste from her and told her she had crossed a line, and while his family tried to defend her actions because
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 11
    "she just wants to help", I said that their "help" is not appreciated and that I will no longer allow them to question everything we do. I also find it highly concerning that they are okay with going explicitly
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 12
    against what I said and starting immediatly, I expect them to keep ther unsolicited advice to themselves and they will have to earn back our trust in respecting our wishes. They said I was too dramatic over a
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 13
    cat, so I said "If I can't even be comfortable around you regarding my cat, I sure as won't be comfortable having you around our kids!"
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 14
    Before they could answer, Sam asked them to leave. He said our kids in the argument was a low blow, since we both know his family would never intentionally harm our kids. He
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 15
    agrees with setting more boundries, but also asked me to apologize for this sentence speciffically. I don't think that sentence makes me an AH, but maybe you guys have some perspective.
    via u/NuggieBuggie04
  • 16
    notforcommentinohgoo 22 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [99] I think you are right. This is exactly how they will behave. They are boundary-stomping know-it-alls. NTA whatsoever. I also don't think you should apologise, and I would work on Sam until he sees that; appeasing them on this is a slippery slope.
    via u/notforcommentinohgoo
  • 17
    No-Sample-5262 · 21 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA at all. People don't come in someone else's house and start dictating things. Giving advice is ok if well intended and you know when to stop but from
    via u/No-Sample-5262
  • 18
    what you explain, this is out of line. We have 2 dogs and people have to ask if they can offer them something. You're right not to trust them because they seem to know better, more so when you have kids later.
    via u/No-Sample-5262
  • 19
    Tarik861 20 hr. ago NTA. Keep the cat. Ditch the boyfriend.
    via u/Tarik861
  • 20
    Nightrain-300 - 20 hr. ago NTA-Sam is wrong. You don't owe them an apology, they owe you one. Do not apologize.
    via u/Nightrain-300
  • 21
    Successful_Jury_9952 21 hr. ago Partassipant [3] Nta, you sooo need to establish boundaries with these people they sound draining.
    via u/Successful_Jury_9952
  • 22
    askthecat_again · 18 hr. ago Do not apologize for mentioning future kids. That is what got their attention. They can dismiss the cat, not the kids. Stuck to your values.
    via u/askthecat_again
  • 23
    • Charming_City_5333 · 19 hr. ago I would tell Sam I'm not having kids with him until he learns to handle his family. showing the post about the lady whose mother bathed her daughter in coconut oil when she's allergic to coconuts
    via u/Charming_City_5333

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aita relationship-drama reddit story relationships advice couples love food Reddit dating boyfriend family drama mother girlfriend family Cats children
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